Letting Go

In your efforts to become more mindful about eating, are you surprised by how frequently you find yourself having just eaten something you did not plan to eat or eating more than you planned? Did you tell yourself “I will only have one piece of that Halloween candy” and then find yourself finishing off the fourth piece? Have you found yourself sitting down to dinner with a single serving sized bowl of pasta (2 oz.) with a plan to stop after that bowl? And then found yourself deep into a second bowl wondering, “How did I get here, again?”

This kind of unconscious response to urges can keep us stuck in a sense of powerlessness and loss of control over our eating. We can end up losing hope about our ability to change our behavior. I understand the sense of helplessness one can feel when they find themselves, once again eating more than they planned.

One way to help ourselves is to practice Letting Go. But what would we be letting go of in the case of mindless or binge eating? We let go of the automatic fulfillment of urges. We let go of unconscious, non-mindful eating. We become mindful, or aware of our thoughts. An urge starts with a physiological stimulus, e.g., a drop in blood sugar or salivary glands stimulated by the thought or sight of a food. And then, very, VERY rapidly the urge becomes a thought such as “I need’, “I want”, or “That would be good!”.

In mindful eating, we can increase awareness of our thought patterns. This begins with awareness of times you typically feel urges and tend to go unconscious and let them control you.  I am aware that urges readily arise for me when I am hungry in the grocery store, after an emotionally stressful event, and when there are sugary foods around. Once I know target situations, I can stay alert. Then I notice physiological responses. This takes time. If you have numbed your body’s normal reaction from too much binging, you may not notice reactions such as blood sugar changes or salivation as part of your eating process. And finally I note my thoughts. This is where I really have to stay alert! Cause the mind is a tricky tool!

Letting Go of the thoughts that lead to me binging such as “Just this once”, “It’s a special occasion”, “I deserve it”, and even the classic 5 year-old thought “But I waaaaant it!” results in a stronger sense of self respect and efficacy. Letting Go feels GOOD, once you get in the habit!

Here is a brief visualization you can use to let go of urges (thoughts) which could lead you to overeat:

Begin by taking 3 deep breaths to help yourself become present in your body. Then begin to see in your mind’s eye a bouquet of brightly colored balloons. See yourself select one, pick a special color. See yourself bringing the balloon closer. Begin to visualize the thoughts or phrases you are trying to release as words floating in your mind. Move the words in your mind into your balloon. As you do, notice the lightness you feel already.

Now take the balloon by the string into your left hand and walk the balloon away from where you are. See yourself walk away holding the balloon high. And when you are ready, release the balloon into the sky. Watch it begin to float away, watch it as it flies high over rooftops and buildings, notice as it get farther and farther way. Notice as it becomes a speck in the sky and Then *Ping* disappears!

Give this visualization a try when you are experiencing a persistent urge. Let it Go and feel freer to focus on the present people and activities in your life rather than food. And if you feel the urge to run after that balloon and refocus on that urge to overeat, just release it with your breath.  Just Let it Go, up, up and away!

JME Affirmation for the Day

I am free to choose the thoughts I think. I am free to choose the actions I take. I am grateful to be growing in  peace as I choose to let go of urges to overeat.

Popcorn in slow motion

Can one eat popcorn mindfully? Popcorn is designed to eat hot, and by the hand and mouthful, at least in my experience. But what would it be like to slow the process down, to eat one kernel at a time? If you chose to eat popcorn as a mindfulness exercise, you’d eat one kernel at a time and use all your senses to truly taste the popcorn.

Let’s try it – Start by seeing yourself with a bowl of hot, fresh popcorn. Visually take it in. What colors of white and yellow do you see? Many shades, I’m sure. What scents come wafting to you as you bring yourself close to the bowl to gather it in? Butter, salt, corn? What is the scent of popcorn? It seems it may be more a scent of butter? Hmmm! Learn something new every day! Pick up a kernel, what is the texture? Notice the flowered kernel and all the “petals” of the corn that have popped open for you. What colors do you see now as you look even closer?

Now that you have mindfully examined the popcorn visually, olfactorally (I know – quite the word, eh?) and texturally, let’s taste. Begin by biting a very small petal off a kernel of corn. What do you notice on your teeth and tongue as you invite the kernel in? At what point do you begin to taste the popcorn? (Parts of our tongue are more sensitive to taste than others) Bite another small petal, notice, textures and taste and finally, take the entire kernel into your teeth and chew. Notice how it feels as it goes down your throat. And notice what is going on in your mind. 

Are you able to stay focused on the small actions or are you off and running mentally performing a different task or impatiently thinking, when will this be over so I can EAT?

Now, if you have hung in there with me this long, you may be wondering, WHY? Would I eat popcorn so slowly? This kind of mindfulness activity helps increase our awareness of the sensual nature of food and the wide varieties of textures and tastes we enjoy each day. Well, that’s really the point here, do you enjoy your food or wolf it down as you drive to work or as you mindlessly eat in front of the TV or computer?

To truly enjoy food, we have to pay attention! At times, as you are aware that you could benefit from changing your eating habits, do you whine “But I like to eat! I enjoy it!”?  Well, I challenge you to assess if you truly enjoy your food or you appreciate the effects of food. If you are eating to squash down feelings or fill an emptiness, you do not enjoy your food, you enjoy the numbing action that food in quantities can bring.

So why not give it a try! Pop a big bowl of popcorn and choose to eat many of those full-petaled kernels mindfully. Savor the tastes and textures. And if you are enjoying it with a cold drink, savor that too! Notice the feel of the glass, the clink of the ice, the feel of the cool liquid on your lips and tongue and down your throat.

One thing for sure, in this kind of mindfulness activity, we have the sensual experience of being fully present in the moment. And we may also learn about thought patterns that lead us to binge and wolf down food as we hear our minds cry out with impatience. In this exercise, we get the opportunity to be “in charge” of these compulsive thoughts rather than being controlled by them. Quite empowering for a little kernel of corn!

JME Affirmation for the Day

Today I focus on eating with awareness. I am aware of the tastes, scents and textures of my food. Food, glorious food, is here for me to savor. 

Dancing with Shame

Shame is the sense that there is something inherently wrong with you. Shame is the sense that people can see into my insecurities. They can see right beyond the calm exterior I try to present to the world into my sometimes wobbly inner self. Shame is the sense, I am not OK.

We know that shame develops early, very early in life when our needs are not met or met with derision. And shame carries on into adulthood impacting how we care for ourselves and get along in the world. Because, if you think about it, if I am not OK, then what can be done? Why would I take care of me or how would I find the motivation to care for me?

Shame is a core experience of those with addictive behaviors. Substances work to quiet the negative noise. Food often works for those who find themselves feeling vulnerable throughout the day. Food, sugar in particular, can provide safety from the sting of shame in numbness. Refined carbohydrates work too! Large quantities of any food can bring emotional and psychological numbness.

Mindfulness can bring us relief as well. The awareness that I am feeling vulnerable and sensitive is the first step. Once I am aware that “This is one of those days!”, I can be mindful of the food choices I make. I can explore the basis for the feelings. Explorations may suggest I need to apologize for behavior, complete an overdue project, get some exercise, or reach out to a friend. Or like today, I needed to dance it off because even the walk in the park did not shake the negative shadow. I chose to play my favorite high spirited dancing songs and kitchen dance. If you don’t kitchen dance, you gotta give this a try! Turn it up loud and let it out: arms, legs, hips and head – shake it, feel the rhythm and allow the words to sink in. Sing at the top of your lungs. Play the best song again for an encore performance!

We’re only human is playing behind me by Jason Mraz. Now, that guys songs are supportive and joyous. I can’t imagine he has shame attacks but ya never know, maybe he writes positive songs when he’s feeling low. (Love that horn!)

Awareness of shame lurking around is an important first step. Mindful awareness of feelings provides a base, a freedom space for choice. Non-mindfulness can make the feelings stronger and more powerful. We may try to avoid them psychologically but have them calling out just the same. Next step: kindness. Yes, it is time to find extra kindness and a smile toward yourself. Go head try it now – Take a breath and offer yourself a loving smile! Ah, that’s better!

Awareness, kindness and then supportive action. Sometimes at times like this, we’ll choose the comfort food and other times, we choose extra healthy foods to support our sense that we are worth it! I smile to the best part of me. I smile to human core of me. I smile.

JME Affirmation for the Day:

Today I smile! I smile within and without. I smile especially when I do not feel like it because I know that deep within I am a loving, kind and valuable human being. I am loved. 

Candy Corn Colors

Candy Corn Colors

Oranges, golds, bright yellow, and browns are the colors of Fall here in the Midwestern U.S. The sunrises and sunsets are more regal with swaths of red and orange. These Fall colors are everywhere, including the groceries, mega stores and drug stores. Candy Corn calls out from the corner shelves and endcaps in each store. And when that call goes out, I hear it loud and clear!

What is it about a waxy, orange and yellow sugar glob that calls to me so? Is it the childhood recollections of candy overload that comes this time of year? Is Candy Corn triggering the excitement and wonder I felt as a child as Halloween celebrations approached? Does the sight of Candy Corn stir some long silent hope for joy and play that doesn’t get much expression in my 50 hour work week? Or is Candy Corn simply calling me to awareness of the vibrance of the colors of Fall?

Or could it be the physiological recollection of the sugar shocking my system as I ate and ate and ate followed by the crash and numbness? I call it the “anesthesia factor”. Whichever mental/emotional connections triggered the purchase of Candy Corn as an adult, the outcome was the same – a sugar high, numbness, and crash. Now you may not be like me and sugar, as we have a long, illustrious history together and I am much better off to avoid the stuff all together. You may not struggle to eat a moderate portion of candy and then walk away.

So far, this Halloween season (which begins in September!) I have successfully, mindfully avoided eye contact with the CORN. Oh, yea! You gotta avoid eye contact if you want to avoid, the question:  “Oh, just one bag?”  OK, the eye contact avoidance may be over the top but works for me! If their beady little eyes don’t catch me looking, I can get out the store safely with real food or the poster board I needed.

With my body, emotions and childhood memories so primed for purchasing Candy Corn, it takes focused mindfulness to get out of the store safely. Late in September, when I went to the drugstore, I was not prepared and had to veer away from the aisles of orange and yellow, take a breath and focus, then focus on my purpose in the store. Since then, I mentally prepare myself for the visual and olfactory onslaught in stores. I stick firmly to my commitment to be sugar free and stick to my list. I also reflected on, what it is about Candy Corn in particular that is so triggering?

I am aware that Candy Corn is a small waxy object in a bag (sometimes bigger than my head), not a  Demon I need to outsmart. But for me, sometimes I must muster all my mindfulness resources. One tool that is genuinely helpful in mindfully overcoming triggers is The Question: Pause, Breathe deeply and ask, “What do I truly want?” when a craving arises. If I am craving a treat, choose a treat that is life supporting. If I am craving fun, think of a silly joke to tell your colleague or plan a fun event, and get outside as soon as possible to walk on the earth. Walking may turn into skipping, if it’s that child in you who wants to play, or it may be a slow focused walk with an eye on your breath.

As the air turns crisp, the colors vibrant, and the Candy Corn calls, maybe it’s a call back to Self. A call to remember that although childhood was a long time ago, play is still important and joy can be found in the little things. When you ask “What do I truly want?”, be gentle and loving with yourself and give yourself what you truly want. Go ahead and giggle!


JME Affirmation for the Day: 
I am aware of what I truly want. I honor myself, by asking, listening and providing myself the sustenance I truly want and need.

Choices, Choices

Choices, choices

Obviously, somewhere along the way, we in America have lost touch with the purpose of food. Today, the supply and amount of food is overwhelming. 24-hour restaurants and grocery stores, Mega stores, and “forget it about” sized portions! Most restaurant meals are more than twice the amount of food one should eat in a meal to stay fit; many contain enough calories for the entire day. 

Mindfulness involves being aware of our body and its need for food. In mindfulness, we focus in, rather than out. Focusing in helps us let go of the visual and olfactory stimulation overwhelming us at the stores and restaurants. The last time you had a restaurant meal, did you struggle to decide what to order? Did you weigh: What did I eat this morning?, Yesterday?, and What is the plan for the rest of the day? or did you just decide “Oooo! This looks good!”. And then pay for it later with indigestion, sleepiness, or remorse when you realize you did it again and when you step on the scale.

Mindful eating calls on us to choose well. Choosing well means choosing foods that nourish our bodies and fit our meal plan for the day or week. Basic knowledge of carbs, fats, proteins, and fiber in foods helps. Mindful eating builds on our knowledge of the values of various foods and what our body needs to thrive. The bottom line is staying aware.

Of course, sometimes we may choose to eat the NY cheesecake. When eating mindfully, this becomes a special treat rather than a daily habit. Treats are just that, treats, not a daily or several times a day food choice.

An exercise in choicefulness

Choose one day this week to track all the food you eat and look up food values on-line or ask the restaurant for the nutrition information of your meal. Then compare that to healthy eating guidelines –recommended calories, carbs, fats, proteins, and fiber recommended for you. Try Mayo Clinic’s Healthy Diet webpage for guidelines.

JME Affirmation for the Day

I am increasingly aware of how much I eat and what my body needs. As I eat foods that nourish and sustain me, I grow in respect for myself each day. 

TIC TOC! TIC TOC!

TIC TOC! TIC TOC!

It's dark now. I have had my dinner. I'm feeling relaxed or more accurately, like I'd like to relax and then I see it's 9:00! NINE O'CLOCK?! TIC TOC! This triggers an urge to eat, an urge to soothe. Once I see the time, it is like I am Captain Hook and I hear that wretched croc who swallowed the clock ever near me - reminding me to eat, eat, eat, my treat, treat, treat. 

I don't know about you, but I have times and places where my body says - EAT! Even if I am not hungry, it’s not meal time, and it would even be inconvenient to eat right now. I just wanna! Yes, I see I am channeling my inner 5 year old. And the adult part of me likes to pretend I am completely in charge. But sometimes it feels as though, the pattern is stronger than I am.

The journey of mindful eating would call on me to ask “Are you hungry?” “What are you feeling?” “What do you want the food to feed?”  We ask these questions to help us focus in and notice, become mindful of the urges and patterns in our eating. If I am hungry and aware of my hunger, I can choose food that will satisfy my hunger (whole foods, protein, carbs). If by asking these questions, I learn I am sad, I can choose to reach out in a phone call, or just allow the feeling rather than try to stuff it down. If I am wanting the food to feed my anxiety and become aware of that feeling underneath, I can choose to address my anxiety. I can complete the project I am worried about or breathe deeply to release the tension.

This is not to suggest that mindful eating means no treats and no way to silence the TIC TOC. Mindful eating can help us be honest with ourselves and become more conscious of unconscious choices we make. Sometimes we will choose the treat and sometimes we will choose to just notice, just notice what the urge is truly calling us to.

JME Affirmation for the Day

I am aware of my conscious and unconscious calls to food. I choose well for myself as I develop a healthier relationship to food day by day.

Non-judgment

Non-judgment

Mindfulness is the practice of paying close attention non-judgmentally, to paraphrase Jon Kabat-Zinn. Therefore mindful eating involves a tricky process. How do we observe carefully the way, the times, the amounts, the foods we eat without judging?

Mindfulness meditation or Vipassana involves noting and following the breath. In meditation we follow the in and out of air through the nostrils or the rise and fall of our chest as the air naturally enters and leaves our body. We also become acutely aware of how much our mind interferes with this simple focusing process. We think and plan and recall and worry and have all sorts of mental activity as we sit with the intention to focus on our breath. The non-judgment comes in here. We do not waste time or energy berating ourselves for “doing it wrong” when we note we have lost connection with our breath. We simply return to focus on the breath. And if we find ourselves judging, we just note, “judging” and return to our breath. If you have practice mindfulness meditation, you know how amazingly simple and yet so challenging this process is.

So, when it comes to mindful eating, it is important to note which aspects of awareness of your eating bring about the most judgment. Do you have a list of shoulds in regard to eating that bring major self-judgment when you do not perfectly attain them? If you remember that you have chosen to eat mindfully after you’ve eaten 3/4ths of the giant bag of potato chips, can you gently, kindly, remind yourself of your intent? And notice how it feels in your body, your spirit and your mind in the present moment? Just notice and learn. This would be the way of non-judgmental acceptance on the journey toward more mindful eating.

Mindful eating in a non-judgmental fashion does not mean that we have no guidelines for eating or that we throw out the reasonable food plans which help us heal and strengthen our bodies. Being non-judgmental means that we accept that we are human, we will falter, and when we become aware of eating non-mindfully, we simply return to an awareness of what is currently happening.

You can see how tricky this is – if I don’t judge, how will I know if I’ve arrived at my goal? If I don’t judge, how will I stop myself from over-eating  or mindless eating? The answer lies in viewing eating mindfully as an ongoing journey. This is not a diet that we graduate from. Learning to and committing to mindful eating calls on us to remain present in all of our eating – the times we feel proud that we are following our eating plan, and the other times when we forgot we ever had a plan and dive head long into a jelly donut. Mindful eating is the process of accepting that we do not always do it right and learning from every mindful moment.

When we pay attention non-judgmentally to our relationship to food, we will grow in understanding of our patterns and in the grace of non-judgment gain self-acceptance.

JME Affirmation for the Day:

Every day, every moment, I grow in awareness and acceptance. I treat myself lovingly today.

Mindfulness, Feelings and Food

Mindfulness, Feelings and Food

We eat to celebrate, we eat to soothe hurts, we eat to deal with boredom, and we eat to distract ourselves. We eat when lonely or depressed to numb the pain, and we eat when stressed. We even sometimes eat “at someone” in anger or frustration. In our culture we have bestowed food with powers it was not designed for in humans. Food, in case you’ve forgotten, is for sustenance, to provide energy and strength to our bodies. Food is not designed to resolve emotional stress.

Since childhood we have linked food with celebration (Happy Birthday!), with helping us heal (Skinned knee? Oh, have a Twinkie. You’ll feel better.), and with numbing ourselves from emotional pain. I mean, come on, the research shows chocolate is good for depression!

Don’t get me wrong! I am not trying to say I am above using food to heal these affairs of the heart, but to say – it does not work! In the long run, after a time of eating to deal with feelings, we are fat, sick and unhappy, and we still have the unresolved emotions. Nor have we learned coping skills to deal with them as they arise again. And they will!

Becoming more mindful of our feeling state can help free us from this pattern. Here are a couple methods to experiment with:

For one day, log your food and feelings when eating. At the end of the day note the links between eating and feelings. Consider if the amount or pace of eating was influenced by your feelings at the time. Note the times you chose wisely despite your feelings. Explore whether just the act of logging your food and feelings increases your awareness and thus helps you make more mindful choices.

Experiment Two: This week as you find yourself being called to the bag of chips or cookies or ice cream, pause and ask yourself “What am I feeling?” Once identified, you can then choose to address the feeling more directly. You may choose to call the person you are upset with, finish a task you’ve been putting off, or allow yourself to feel the sadness - to cry. Or you can choose to go ahead and eat the food you are craving. Either way you have increased your mindful awareness of the role of feelings in your relationship with food.

JME Affirmation for the Day:

Today, I recognize and honor my feelings. As I become more and more conscious of feelings guiding my choices, I use my thinking mind to guide me to healthy food.  

Welcome to Journeys in Mindful Eating!

Welcome to Journeys in Mindful Eating!
This is my first entry. Important! Must be significant and powerful! Must really measure up to the vision of this blog! Oh, not that!..... Yes - those are the thoughts running through my head as I NON-mindfully prepare to start this blog. Full of fear laden, procrastination-building judgment! Mindful eating for me is a process that requires getting out of the judgment and perfection expectation mode. It is an act, a simple act of eating with awareness. Eating with awareness! No easy task for most of us as we eat in front of the TV, we eat in the car while driving, talking to the kids and answering the cell phone, and we eat urgently (OK, compulsively at times) to deal with feelings - anxiety, sadness, depression. These patterns of eating are anything but mindful!

As a society, we are becoming more aware or mindful of the food we select: commercial, organic, free-range, local, fresh or frozen??. These choices can make a difference in our health in the long run research suggests. One simple, but not easy, act of mindfulness WHILE eating can make the difference between over-eating and feeding your body what it needs.

I know this personally, as my body size has gone up and down and up, up for the last several decades as I tried to use food to soothe, solve, and survive. But no more - being mindful about what and why I put things in my mouth is a new way of life.

Mindful eating for me requires staying conscious through all the stages: planning, shopping, fixing, dreaming about Garlic and artichoke pizza, as well as setting the table and sitting down to eat in a calm focused manner. Full-time Focus!

So, welcome to my blog! Let's do this together, you and I and all of us! Let's learn day by day how to be more mindful eaters!

JME Affirmation for the Day:
Today, I enjoy food by paying close attention to smells, tastes and textures of my meals. I savor my food today.