Just One Thing

So this morning, as most mornings, I made my oatmeal as I drank my morning coffee. I LOVE my oatmeal with flax, raisins, cinnamon and agave nectar. Most mornings I am rushing to cook it and then eat it in a hurry as I head off to work. But Sundays, ah Sundays! Don’t ya love them? Slow prep, slow planning of the day, and relaxing music. And this morning the extra bonus of fresh snow to beautify the yard and give me permission to stay inside where it’s warm.

So, in my efforts to be more mindful when eating, I do my best to focus on the food I am eating by just EATING when I’m eating. Novel idea, eh? Well actually it seems to be novel in our life today. We drive while we eat, we watch TV while we eat, we read while we eat (especially if we eat out alone), we listen to music while we eat, we write lists while we eat, we text while we eat, and we surf the web or respond to email while we eat at our desks. All this activity during eating limits our awareness of what we are actually eating!

Somedays, like today I had difficulty putting down the pen, turning down the music, stopping my reading and getting off the computer long enough to eat my oatmeal with mindful attention. I had lots of scattered attention and rationales for why it made sense to eat NON-mindfully this AM. “Its just breakfast”, “I got get this done”, and as you’ve heard from me before, my perennial favorite “I don’t wanna!”.

And I did not succumb to the rationale that the texting teens in my groups use: “I can multi-task. I hear every word you say.” Said as they keep their fingers and minds focused on their text dialogue. Yes, they may be able to repeat the words I used (short term memory), but they cannot process the discussion at any deep level. They are not fully present in either activity.

When it comes to food and multi-tasking, awareness of the food we are eating usually takes a back seat to the other activity we are engaged in. Some of us may multi-task SO that we can binge or eat something that a part of us says, “Uh-uh! Stay away from that!”. Some of us multi-task while eating as a habit, a method to get more done in the time we have.

Either way, multi-tasking while eating is bad for your health.

You can eat too much: It takes about 20 minutes for our minds to get the signal that we are full. Eat without focus and you can really pack it in before you start to feel full. Which results in “packing it on” (pounds that is).

You can eat too fast: Digestion starts in the mouth with our saliva. For full digestion of the nutrients in our food we need to chew our food fully. Chewing fully also helps our body process the food for elimination. Eat too fast, your physical body misses out.

You can miss out on enjoyment of your food: Savoring the flavors, texture, smells and sights of food is part of the Joy of eating. When we focus on how the chocolate tastes and melts in our mouth, or how the hot soup feels as it moves past our tongue and down our throat, or the smells of banana bread sliced warm from the oven, we experience sensual pleasure. If we multi-task right through it, we miss all that.

So for today, I chose to do JUST ONE THING while I ate my morning oatmeal. JUST ONE THING – I ate my oatmeal with focus and intent. I noticed the way it looked and the way it felt in my mouth. I noticed how I felt as I started to feel full. I noticed how my coffee and oatmeal make a wonderful combination. I let impulses to jump up and do something else just flow on by.

JUST ONE THING can feel odd or uncomfortable when you give it a try. It may feel as though something is missing. You may feel a bit anxious without a split focus as you eat. It’s OK. Just re-focus on the food in front of you. Focus on the smells, textures, tastes and pleasure found in your food. As your mind wanders just gently bring your mind back to the present moment in which you are enjoying your meal.

JME Affirmation:

For today, I choose to do Just one Thing while I eat. I breathe out any anxiety I may feel as I choose to focus and be fully present as I eat. As I notice my reactions, I grow in understanding of my relationship to food.

Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving Day! Thanks Giving Day! It seems that our focus is on the food, the feast and not so much on the giving of thanks on this day. Families (and especially the cook) plan and dream and prep and bake and steam and roast and serve gorgeous, wonderful food for us to celebrate with. In my family celebrations it is turkey, gravy with potatoes, cranberries and banana bread. Oh and don’t forget the green bean casserole, cheese, lime jello with pears, veggies, crescent rolls, bread and pie. Well and sometimes several pies with ice cream!

I heard the other day that the typical American Thanksgiving meal is 4500 calories! 4500 calories! That is almost 3 days worth of calories in one meal. Mindful eating can help us to enjoy the tasty treats without gorging ourselves. Mindfully we can choose to have small portions of the foods we truly love. We can choose to stand away from the nibbles before dinner. We can choose to have one desert, not three. AND we can choose to refocus on mindful, healthy eating once the meal is cleaned up and put away. We can remind ourselves that Thanksgiving dinner is one meal, not the beginning of a 4 week eating free-for-all until Christmas. And Black Friday does not have to be a day of mourning for your bulging belly but can be the day you return to focused mindful eating.

Thanksgiving does not have to be ALL about the food. We have family to celebrate! Be mindful of how important these people are in your life. Be kind, be generous, be loving throughout the day to the people who have been there for you always. My mother once told me, “Your family will never leave you” and in my life, she has been right. We stick together. We support, sometimes from afar, but support is always there. So for today, I will celebrate my family. I will pay close attention to their stories and jokes. I will be interested in their life’s adventures. I will be fully present with them during our celebration. I will shift my focus to my loved ones when the focus on food gets overwhelming. And I will breathe in deep the sense of gratitude I have for them in my life.

My Gratitude List for Today:

I am grateful for all the wonderful people in my life.

I am grateful for my work which gives meaning to my life.

I am grateful for the changing seasons which keep me aware that change is constant in life.

I am grateful for my physical body which continues to be resilient and strong.

I am grateful for the hundreds of people in my life who show me the way.

I am grateful for the bounty of healthy, delicious food available to me.

I am grateful for my warm and comfortable home.

I am grateful for my sweet dog Gracie who teaches me about exuberance.

I am grateful for breath, as it brings me back to the present moment.

I am grateful for each new day.

May your day be filled with family, friends, fun and frolic and oh, yea food.

JME Affirmation for the Day

I am grateful for my life – This Life. The more grateful I am, the more I experience health, wealth and prosperity. I am grateful and life is bountiful. 

Advertising’s Influence

I saw a film clip the other day in which Ralph Nader was asked “Where can we go to be free of advertising?” After a brief pause, he stumbled over his words and said “When you’re asleep!”.  Wow! Consider that the vast number of those ads are food or drink related ads. Estimate how many advertisements we see each day on television, in magazines and newspapers, in our mailbox, on the Internet, on the radio, on billboards and store signs related to food. It’s staggering! And our only break is when we are asleep. And in our country, this is even more of a challenge because we are sleep deprived. Ha!

Do you ever find yourself watching a TV program after you’ve finished a nice dinner and all of a sudden you think “Are there any of those cookies left?” or “Popcorn sure would be good”? Do you then hop up and search the cupboards for a treat even though you’ve just finished dinner? And if you’d stop to ask your stomach, you are actually FULL. Don’t despair – those thoughts pop up in most of us – especially when we are watching TV due to the advertising messages. TV ads are specifically designed to activate your senses. The ads reach us on an unconscious or semi-conscious level quickly bypassing our logical selves.

Some TV ads target our emotions. These ads show fun, family and especially childhood celebrations linked with food. Some ads target our ego showing how “sexy” or attractive we can be by drinking a certain liquor or grilling a certain food. Others target our desire to be in control by showing one succeeding in the “hunt” for food and being powerful winners. Other ads seek to access your memories of good times with food, such as Birthday celebrations, and Holiday feasts.

Forget the content and the story of the food commercials because they all have one goal – to get you to buy and eat more food! If we want to remain free of outside influences like multi-national food vendors, we need to be mindful of our impulses and our actions. We need to take back control of our minds.

Using mindful eating as a prevention tool to ward off cravings and binges the TV ads suggest that we engage in, takes practice.

Try this: When you sit down to watch a show, notice your level of hunger and rate it 1 to 10 (1 being stuffed to the gills and 10 being ravenous, hamster hungry. (One of my brothers once said he was so hungry he could eat a hamster! I know, YUCK!). Anyway!  Rate your hunger 1 to 10 as you sit down. If you are between 1 and 3 (stuffed to the gills), make a decision right then and there that you will not be having a snack while watching the TV show. And if you need a reminder, write the number down on a sheet of paper and set it next to you. When you feel the impulse to go check the cupboards or the fridge, just look at your Hunger number and reconsider.

If you rate yourself as a 4-6, which would be not hungry, then write that number down and note to yourself that you are not hungry. If you rate yourself as a 7 or above (moving toward hamster hungry), you did not just have dinner! And you should go eat a balanced meal before you sit down in front of the machine that is going to trigger all your cravings.

This week, as you find yourself settling-in to watch a favorite football game, show or movie, remember to engage your logical mind. Remember that you are in control of your appetite, not the TV advertisers. You can maintain control by being aware of whether or not you are hungry and making thoughtful decisions about what to do about it – get that snack from the fridge or choose hot tea to curb your craving or choose to just notice how cravings will pass if we don’t fuel them with food fantasies. Don’t let that TV screen push you around! Assert your independence!

JME Affirmation for the Day

I am free to choose healthy patterns for myself. As I listen to my body, I learn what my body needs to be healthy and whole. I am healthy, I am happy, I am whole. 

Using Food to Manage Mood

Food and feelings are closely intertwined. When are the times you over-eat or eat mindlessly? Generally these are times when you are feeling an emotion that you want to avoid or extend. Food, when used as a mood management tool, can miraculously make strong feelings disappear for a time.

Take boredom for example. Do you find yourself perusing the cupboards and hanging onto the wide-open fridge door looking for something to eat when you are feeling a restless sense of boredom? When you are watching bad, boring TV, do you find yourself thinking of and then hunting for some morsels of food that might make the sense of boredom (lack of excitement and interest) go away?

Consider sadness. When we experience the loss of a love to death or break-up, we reach for food. Our culture supports this with the ritual of providing food for the grieving family. This is a wonderful tradition and it’s very helpful as one deals with a great loss and may lose focus for a time in caring for oneself with meals. But if you struggle with emotional eating, you may carry this pattern of over-eating and binging to deal with the strong feelings of sadness on and on. This delays the normal working through of sadness and loss, and packs on the pounds.

Do you ever eat “at” someone? Sometimes when we are angry, we eat “at” the person we are angry with. Some of us rely on the hurried pace of locating the food, the chewing, and the gnashing of teeth to squash the feeling of rage down. Eating at someone never works, of course! We end up numb or at least the rage has simmered down to a bubbling resentment. The one thing anger needs is release - not at a person but a productive release of the energy of anger. When we eat our anger, we stuff the feelings and ourselves.

And when you feel your heart has been broken, is chocolate the answer? Well, maybe for a brief time, chocolate is soothing and feels like a comforting treat. But really, when our heart is broken, we need to grieve the loss, consider what we learned in the experience, and make sense of it over time. Eating away the hurt often leaves one with unresolved losses and greater self-loathing in the punishment the once-soothing food has become.

When you are anxious or fearful, do you turn to food to soothe your nerves? Does a cookie, or box of cookies, or a bag of chips calm you? Do you find that food distracts you from your concerns and thus provides some respite from the worry?

So, what can we do with these normal, common feelings if we choose to be more mindful? Mindful eating does not preclude that we’ll ever eat in boredom, or anger, or sadness. Mindful eating guides us gently to greater awareness and acceptance of feelings as normal, tolerable, passing states of experience rather then something intolerable that we need to run from and into food.

IF you’d like to practice mindful eating with emotions, try this:

The next time you feel bored, sad, angry, or anxious, feel it. Yep, just allow some time to FEEL the feelings. Examine the feeling. For example, What do I experience when I feel bored? Where do I feel it in my body? What am I saying to myself that makes this feeling more uncomfortable? If I allow the feeling, just the feeling, and not feed it with inflamed thoughts like “I am so bored.” “There is nothing to do.” “My life is so dull.”, what do I experience? How long does the feeling last? What might I like to do other than this activity? What is holding me back? Is my sense of boredom turning into another feeling like anxiety as I just allow and observe it? OK, then what does that feeling feel like in my body and mind?

This kind of mindful observation can interrupt the pattern of eating to avoid or squash down feelings. You may find after a few times through this process with feelings, you’ll learn about your pattern of using food to manage mood. And over time you’ll feel freer to allow a wide range of feelings, having learned that they are just feelings and will pass, like everything. Managing your mood by allowing your feelings rather than eating them away will result in a brighter mood, as your mind and body are not numbed out but free to experience the joy available in the present moment.

JME Affirmation for the Day

I accept my feelings as a natural part of life. I am safe. I am strong. I honor my feelings by allowing and examining them. As I honor my feelings, I grow in respect for myself and the power of my mind and body.

Dealing with Obsession

I recently had a birthday and birthdays mean cake, right? Cake, candles, singing – that’s what birthdays have been since I was little. I even have photos of me and birthday cakes in the high chair. And that’s a LONG time ago!


Well, possibly birthdays used to mean cake. As my birthday neared, I found myself in turmoil over flour, eggs and cheese – a bit crazy, eh? Since birthdays mean cake, I had to figure out how to have cake but still be mindful of my health. First, I went through bargaining. “Well, maybe I can have sugar one time for my birthday” “ I could get one piece of cake at a restaurant and share it with my dinner mates” Then I began plotting which kind of cake I’d get and where to get it. Obsession was setting in.  After writing out all my thinking and plans in an email to a friend, I realized this is CRAZY! For many, if not most folks, having a piece of cake for their birthday is just that. For me, it has the potential to turn into a downhill slide in to sugar again.

So, then I planned to make a sugar free (stevia based) cheesecake for my birthday. This way I could have a celebration cake still remain faithful to caring for myself by not eating sugar. This also started to get obsessive. Figuring out where to eat, with whom and how to take a homemade cheesecake into a restaurant was the next challenge. After I realized the best time for my family and friends to get together was Sunday brunch, I LET GO of the cake! Yes, it was grace, a gift – a huge birthday gift. I just Let Go of the need for a cake. Obsession lifted. My brother orchestrated a surprise fruit bowl “cake” with candles in it at the restaurant. A very sweet surprise! And I had no sugar hangover – Sweet!

Mindfulness saved me here.

Being aware of the twists and turns of obsessive thinking is central to mindful eating. Obsessive thinking is a habit, a compulsion, a reaction to external and internal stimuli. Obsession is characterized by relentless, looping patterns of thought. During an obsessive binge the object of your obsession becomes the seed around which behavior, thoughts, and reactions grow. Mindfulness helps one become aware of the patterns of thought and behavior arising from your unconscious desires.

So, how does one use mindfulness to Let Go of obsessive thinking? Start with becoming aware that you are caught in the loop of obsessive thinking. Notice that your mind has shifted into scheming and plotting how to get your obsessive prize.

Once you are aware of your thought pattern, assess the purpose or the underlying goal of your obsession. It is not the Cake! You may need to look closely through writing or meditation or talk with a trusted friend but I can almost guarantee you that your obsession is about something other than food. In the case of the birthday cake, my goal or desire was to experience a celebration and feel loved. My goal was to feel loved. Cake cannot love. People love.

And to Let Go – simply Re-Focus on your true goal. Re-focus, shift your gaze to the deeper desire. For me, it was to re-focus on my loved ones and a sense of celebration for living another year. I no longer feared lack of a cake because I was receiving my deeper desire – celebration and love.

Obsession with food can be a cover for many desires. Obsessive food episodes often cover fear. Fears about what people will think of you at the party, can spur binge eating to numb the fear. Fears about how well you’ll meet expectations of your partner, your teacher or your boss can also lead to binging to soothe the fear. When your underlying desire is for safety (or to relieve your fears), shifting your focus to your underlying need of being accepted, loved, or respected and OFF of the food, is the beginning of Letting Go of the obsession.

Awareness, Assessment, and Re-Focusing is a process that works for me to Let Go of obsession. When I find myself again caught in an obsessive loop, I can choose to breathe deeply and pause to ask the big question: “What is it I truly want?” and find greater peace in the knowledge.

JME Affirmation for the Day

I grow in awareness every day.  As I understand myself more, I grow in love and acceptance. I love, I am loving and I am loved.

Recipe for Non-Mindful Eating

There are five key steps in the process of Non-Mindful Eating. I unfortunately am proof that these steps work! If you carefully, or even lackadaisically follow these steps, you are certain to have a non-satisfying meal, pack on the pounds and get mired in depression!

1. Get too hungry. You can easily get this way if you skip breakfast, wait too long to eat or put yourself on some crazy restrictive diet. You may know this feeling – growling stomach, slight headache, maybe even slight weakness from drop in blood sugar. Even before you make it to the car to head home, you are developing food fantasies.

2. As you think about your next meal, focus on a trigger food. While trigger foods may differ for all of us, the result is the same – we go unconscious as we eat it, eat more of it than is reasonable, eat it too rapidly, and crave more the next day or next meal or next hour. Trigger foods for me include sweets of most any kind but candy in particular and potato chips and dip (YUCK! I know – how disgustingly perfect that combo is! – Salt and Fat). To become expert at Non-Mindful Eating, I need to keep these foods readily available.  

3. Make more food than you need. Last night in my Non-Mindful Eating activity, I made black bean nachos. Now, there is nothing really wrong with black bean nachos, even with light sour cream added.  My problem arose when I pulled out the round pizza pan I use to make them. Rather than make ½ the tray full, I very rapidly justified that I had not eaten enough lunch and it would even out. So, basically I made enough nachos for 2 dinner-size servings. I think I even thought for a moment, I’ll just put a half on a plate for my dinner. But instead, when they were bubbly, I took the whole pan and ate right off of it!

4. Sit in front of the TV while eating. Pull up your chair, your TV Tray (Why’d they invent those things?), or just bend over and eat off the coffee table or your lap. Scan the channels, using the remote of course to prevent burning calories. (Does anyone remember when we used to have to get up to change the channel?) You have two options here, you can scan through your entire meal or find a show that intrigues you but be sure to “Pay No attention to the woman eating” behind her curtain of non-mindfulness. Before you know it, the food will be gone and since you had little awareness that you were eating, you’ll find yourself craving more even though you just ate two meals worth!

5. Probably the most important step to Non-mindful Eating happens after you’ve eaten. To do a most excellent job of Non-Mindful Eating, you must get out the big baseball bat in the closet and bang yourself over the head with what a slothful, rotten, worthless human being you are since you ate this meal that way and Give Up! Decide right then and there that you’ll never get it right, you’re hopeless and OMG “What’s the Use?”. This final step assures that you’ll continue eating non-mindfully to cover the self-hate you are fueling. Non-Mindful Eating is very difficult to perfect, so you just have to keep trying!

WHEW! Are you bummed out enough in reading this? I am! And this is the process that I and so many of us emotional and binge eaters engage in over and over and over. So, What’s the antidote?

Recipe for Return to Mindful Eating:

1. Honesty. Be honest with yourself about what just happened and how you feel about it.

2. Plan to begin again. Better yet, just begin again now. Begin again to commit to Mindful Eating. Begin again eating mindfully aware of your process and the foods you eat.

3. Be kind and gentle with yourself. If you struggle with this, consider how a loving friend might respond to your faltering in your commitment. Or choose someone like the Dalai Lama or Jesus or Mother Teresa or another person who loves so well and ask “How would he/she respond?” Offer yourself this level of kindness as you continue on your path.

I recommend you use the Recipe for Non-Mindful Eating sparingly. There may be days or moments when these choices make sense but as a long term strategy they result in self-loathing and numbness. No Way to go through life! I recommend you honor yourself and your human-ness and return to mindful, supportive eating when you stray off course. That’s my plan for the day!

JME Affirmation for the Day:

Each day I begin anew with my commitment to eating mindfully and healthfully. Each day I grow in love and respect for myself. 

Letting Go

In your efforts to become more mindful about eating, are you surprised by how frequently you find yourself having just eaten something you did not plan to eat or eating more than you planned? Did you tell yourself “I will only have one piece of that Halloween candy” and then find yourself finishing off the fourth piece? Have you found yourself sitting down to dinner with a single serving sized bowl of pasta (2 oz.) with a plan to stop after that bowl? And then found yourself deep into a second bowl wondering, “How did I get here, again?”

This kind of unconscious response to urges can keep us stuck in a sense of powerlessness and loss of control over our eating. We can end up losing hope about our ability to change our behavior. I understand the sense of helplessness one can feel when they find themselves, once again eating more than they planned.

One way to help ourselves is to practice Letting Go. But what would we be letting go of in the case of mindless or binge eating? We let go of the automatic fulfillment of urges. We let go of unconscious, non-mindful eating. We become mindful, or aware of our thoughts. An urge starts with a physiological stimulus, e.g., a drop in blood sugar or salivary glands stimulated by the thought or sight of a food. And then, very, VERY rapidly the urge becomes a thought such as “I need’, “I want”, or “That would be good!”.

In mindful eating, we can increase awareness of our thought patterns. This begins with awareness of times you typically feel urges and tend to go unconscious and let them control you.  I am aware that urges readily arise for me when I am hungry in the grocery store, after an emotionally stressful event, and when there are sugary foods around. Once I know target situations, I can stay alert. Then I notice physiological responses. This takes time. If you have numbed your body’s normal reaction from too much binging, you may not notice reactions such as blood sugar changes or salivation as part of your eating process. And finally I note my thoughts. This is where I really have to stay alert! Cause the mind is a tricky tool!

Letting Go of the thoughts that lead to me binging such as “Just this once”, “It’s a special occasion”, “I deserve it”, and even the classic 5 year-old thought “But I waaaaant it!” results in a stronger sense of self respect and efficacy. Letting Go feels GOOD, once you get in the habit!

Here is a brief visualization you can use to let go of urges (thoughts) which could lead you to overeat:

Begin by taking 3 deep breaths to help yourself become present in your body. Then begin to see in your mind’s eye a bouquet of brightly colored balloons. See yourself select one, pick a special color. See yourself bringing the balloon closer. Begin to visualize the thoughts or phrases you are trying to release as words floating in your mind. Move the words in your mind into your balloon. As you do, notice the lightness you feel already.

Now take the balloon by the string into your left hand and walk the balloon away from where you are. See yourself walk away holding the balloon high. And when you are ready, release the balloon into the sky. Watch it begin to float away, watch it as it flies high over rooftops and buildings, notice as it get farther and farther way. Notice as it becomes a speck in the sky and Then *Ping* disappears!

Give this visualization a try when you are experiencing a persistent urge. Let it Go and feel freer to focus on the present people and activities in your life rather than food. And if you feel the urge to run after that balloon and refocus on that urge to overeat, just release it with your breath.  Just Let it Go, up, up and away!

JME Affirmation for the Day

I am free to choose the thoughts I think. I am free to choose the actions I take. I am grateful to be growing in  peace as I choose to let go of urges to overeat.

Popcorn in slow motion

Can one eat popcorn mindfully? Popcorn is designed to eat hot, and by the hand and mouthful, at least in my experience. But what would it be like to slow the process down, to eat one kernel at a time? If you chose to eat popcorn as a mindfulness exercise, you’d eat one kernel at a time and use all your senses to truly taste the popcorn.

Let’s try it – Start by seeing yourself with a bowl of hot, fresh popcorn. Visually take it in. What colors of white and yellow do you see? Many shades, I’m sure. What scents come wafting to you as you bring yourself close to the bowl to gather it in? Butter, salt, corn? What is the scent of popcorn? It seems it may be more a scent of butter? Hmmm! Learn something new every day! Pick up a kernel, what is the texture? Notice the flowered kernel and all the “petals” of the corn that have popped open for you. What colors do you see now as you look even closer?

Now that you have mindfully examined the popcorn visually, olfactorally (I know – quite the word, eh?) and texturally, let’s taste. Begin by biting a very small petal off a kernel of corn. What do you notice on your teeth and tongue as you invite the kernel in? At what point do you begin to taste the popcorn? (Parts of our tongue are more sensitive to taste than others) Bite another small petal, notice, textures and taste and finally, take the entire kernel into your teeth and chew. Notice how it feels as it goes down your throat. And notice what is going on in your mind. 

Are you able to stay focused on the small actions or are you off and running mentally performing a different task or impatiently thinking, when will this be over so I can EAT?

Now, if you have hung in there with me this long, you may be wondering, WHY? Would I eat popcorn so slowly? This kind of mindfulness activity helps increase our awareness of the sensual nature of food and the wide varieties of textures and tastes we enjoy each day. Well, that’s really the point here, do you enjoy your food or wolf it down as you drive to work or as you mindlessly eat in front of the TV or computer?

To truly enjoy food, we have to pay attention! At times, as you are aware that you could benefit from changing your eating habits, do you whine “But I like to eat! I enjoy it!”?  Well, I challenge you to assess if you truly enjoy your food or you appreciate the effects of food. If you are eating to squash down feelings or fill an emptiness, you do not enjoy your food, you enjoy the numbing action that food in quantities can bring.

So why not give it a try! Pop a big bowl of popcorn and choose to eat many of those full-petaled kernels mindfully. Savor the tastes and textures. And if you are enjoying it with a cold drink, savor that too! Notice the feel of the glass, the clink of the ice, the feel of the cool liquid on your lips and tongue and down your throat.

One thing for sure, in this kind of mindfulness activity, we have the sensual experience of being fully present in the moment. And we may also learn about thought patterns that lead us to binge and wolf down food as we hear our minds cry out with impatience. In this exercise, we get the opportunity to be “in charge” of these compulsive thoughts rather than being controlled by them. Quite empowering for a little kernel of corn!

JME Affirmation for the Day

Today I focus on eating with awareness. I am aware of the tastes, scents and textures of my food. Food, glorious food, is here for me to savor. 

Dancing with Shame

Shame is the sense that there is something inherently wrong with you. Shame is the sense that people can see into my insecurities. They can see right beyond the calm exterior I try to present to the world into my sometimes wobbly inner self. Shame is the sense, I am not OK.

We know that shame develops early, very early in life when our needs are not met or met with derision. And shame carries on into adulthood impacting how we care for ourselves and get along in the world. Because, if you think about it, if I am not OK, then what can be done? Why would I take care of me or how would I find the motivation to care for me?

Shame is a core experience of those with addictive behaviors. Substances work to quiet the negative noise. Food often works for those who find themselves feeling vulnerable throughout the day. Food, sugar in particular, can provide safety from the sting of shame in numbness. Refined carbohydrates work too! Large quantities of any food can bring emotional and psychological numbness.

Mindfulness can bring us relief as well. The awareness that I am feeling vulnerable and sensitive is the first step. Once I am aware that “This is one of those days!”, I can be mindful of the food choices I make. I can explore the basis for the feelings. Explorations may suggest I need to apologize for behavior, complete an overdue project, get some exercise, or reach out to a friend. Or like today, I needed to dance it off because even the walk in the park did not shake the negative shadow. I chose to play my favorite high spirited dancing songs and kitchen dance. If you don’t kitchen dance, you gotta give this a try! Turn it up loud and let it out: arms, legs, hips and head – shake it, feel the rhythm and allow the words to sink in. Sing at the top of your lungs. Play the best song again for an encore performance!

We’re only human is playing behind me by Jason Mraz. Now, that guys songs are supportive and joyous. I can’t imagine he has shame attacks but ya never know, maybe he writes positive songs when he’s feeling low. (Love that horn!)

Awareness of shame lurking around is an important first step. Mindful awareness of feelings provides a base, a freedom space for choice. Non-mindfulness can make the feelings stronger and more powerful. We may try to avoid them psychologically but have them calling out just the same. Next step: kindness. Yes, it is time to find extra kindness and a smile toward yourself. Go head try it now – Take a breath and offer yourself a loving smile! Ah, that’s better!

Awareness, kindness and then supportive action. Sometimes at times like this, we’ll choose the comfort food and other times, we choose extra healthy foods to support our sense that we are worth it! I smile to the best part of me. I smile to human core of me. I smile.

JME Affirmation for the Day:

Today I smile! I smile within and without. I smile especially when I do not feel like it because I know that deep within I am a loving, kind and valuable human being. I am loved. 

Candy Corn Colors

Candy Corn Colors

Oranges, golds, bright yellow, and browns are the colors of Fall here in the Midwestern U.S. The sunrises and sunsets are more regal with swaths of red and orange. These Fall colors are everywhere, including the groceries, mega stores and drug stores. Candy Corn calls out from the corner shelves and endcaps in each store. And when that call goes out, I hear it loud and clear!

What is it about a waxy, orange and yellow sugar glob that calls to me so? Is it the childhood recollections of candy overload that comes this time of year? Is Candy Corn triggering the excitement and wonder I felt as a child as Halloween celebrations approached? Does the sight of Candy Corn stir some long silent hope for joy and play that doesn’t get much expression in my 50 hour work week? Or is Candy Corn simply calling me to awareness of the vibrance of the colors of Fall?

Or could it be the physiological recollection of the sugar shocking my system as I ate and ate and ate followed by the crash and numbness? I call it the “anesthesia factor”. Whichever mental/emotional connections triggered the purchase of Candy Corn as an adult, the outcome was the same – a sugar high, numbness, and crash. Now you may not be like me and sugar, as we have a long, illustrious history together and I am much better off to avoid the stuff all together. You may not struggle to eat a moderate portion of candy and then walk away.

So far, this Halloween season (which begins in September!) I have successfully, mindfully avoided eye contact with the CORN. Oh, yea! You gotta avoid eye contact if you want to avoid, the question:  “Oh, just one bag?”  OK, the eye contact avoidance may be over the top but works for me! If their beady little eyes don’t catch me looking, I can get out the store safely with real food or the poster board I needed.

With my body, emotions and childhood memories so primed for purchasing Candy Corn, it takes focused mindfulness to get out of the store safely. Late in September, when I went to the drugstore, I was not prepared and had to veer away from the aisles of orange and yellow, take a breath and focus, then focus on my purpose in the store. Since then, I mentally prepare myself for the visual and olfactory onslaught in stores. I stick firmly to my commitment to be sugar free and stick to my list. I also reflected on, what it is about Candy Corn in particular that is so triggering?

I am aware that Candy Corn is a small waxy object in a bag (sometimes bigger than my head), not a  Demon I need to outsmart. But for me, sometimes I must muster all my mindfulness resources. One tool that is genuinely helpful in mindfully overcoming triggers is The Question: Pause, Breathe deeply and ask, “What do I truly want?” when a craving arises. If I am craving a treat, choose a treat that is life supporting. If I am craving fun, think of a silly joke to tell your colleague or plan a fun event, and get outside as soon as possible to walk on the earth. Walking may turn into skipping, if it’s that child in you who wants to play, or it may be a slow focused walk with an eye on your breath.

As the air turns crisp, the colors vibrant, and the Candy Corn calls, maybe it’s a call back to Self. A call to remember that although childhood was a long time ago, play is still important and joy can be found in the little things. When you ask “What do I truly want?”, be gentle and loving with yourself and give yourself what you truly want. Go ahead and giggle!


JME Affirmation for the Day: 
I am aware of what I truly want. I honor myself, by asking, listening and providing myself the sustenance I truly want and need.

Choices, Choices

Choices, choices

Obviously, somewhere along the way, we in America have lost touch with the purpose of food. Today, the supply and amount of food is overwhelming. 24-hour restaurants and grocery stores, Mega stores, and “forget it about” sized portions! Most restaurant meals are more than twice the amount of food one should eat in a meal to stay fit; many contain enough calories for the entire day. 

Mindfulness involves being aware of our body and its need for food. In mindfulness, we focus in, rather than out. Focusing in helps us let go of the visual and olfactory stimulation overwhelming us at the stores and restaurants. The last time you had a restaurant meal, did you struggle to decide what to order? Did you weigh: What did I eat this morning?, Yesterday?, and What is the plan for the rest of the day? or did you just decide “Oooo! This looks good!”. And then pay for it later with indigestion, sleepiness, or remorse when you realize you did it again and when you step on the scale.

Mindful eating calls on us to choose well. Choosing well means choosing foods that nourish our bodies and fit our meal plan for the day or week. Basic knowledge of carbs, fats, proteins, and fiber in foods helps. Mindful eating builds on our knowledge of the values of various foods and what our body needs to thrive. The bottom line is staying aware.

Of course, sometimes we may choose to eat the NY cheesecake. When eating mindfully, this becomes a special treat rather than a daily habit. Treats are just that, treats, not a daily or several times a day food choice.

An exercise in choicefulness

Choose one day this week to track all the food you eat and look up food values on-line or ask the restaurant for the nutrition information of your meal. Then compare that to healthy eating guidelines –recommended calories, carbs, fats, proteins, and fiber recommended for you. Try Mayo Clinic’s Healthy Diet webpage for guidelines.

JME Affirmation for the Day

I am increasingly aware of how much I eat and what my body needs. As I eat foods that nourish and sustain me, I grow in respect for myself each day. 

TIC TOC! TIC TOC!

TIC TOC! TIC TOC!

It's dark now. I have had my dinner. I'm feeling relaxed or more accurately, like I'd like to relax and then I see it's 9:00! NINE O'CLOCK?! TIC TOC! This triggers an urge to eat, an urge to soothe. Once I see the time, it is like I am Captain Hook and I hear that wretched croc who swallowed the clock ever near me - reminding me to eat, eat, eat, my treat, treat, treat. 

I don't know about you, but I have times and places where my body says - EAT! Even if I am not hungry, it’s not meal time, and it would even be inconvenient to eat right now. I just wanna! Yes, I see I am channeling my inner 5 year old. And the adult part of me likes to pretend I am completely in charge. But sometimes it feels as though, the pattern is stronger than I am.

The journey of mindful eating would call on me to ask “Are you hungry?” “What are you feeling?” “What do you want the food to feed?”  We ask these questions to help us focus in and notice, become mindful of the urges and patterns in our eating. If I am hungry and aware of my hunger, I can choose food that will satisfy my hunger (whole foods, protein, carbs). If by asking these questions, I learn I am sad, I can choose to reach out in a phone call, or just allow the feeling rather than try to stuff it down. If I am wanting the food to feed my anxiety and become aware of that feeling underneath, I can choose to address my anxiety. I can complete the project I am worried about or breathe deeply to release the tension.

This is not to suggest that mindful eating means no treats and no way to silence the TIC TOC. Mindful eating can help us be honest with ourselves and become more conscious of unconscious choices we make. Sometimes we will choose the treat and sometimes we will choose to just notice, just notice what the urge is truly calling us to.

JME Affirmation for the Day

I am aware of my conscious and unconscious calls to food. I choose well for myself as I develop a healthier relationship to food day by day.

Non-judgment

Non-judgment

Mindfulness is the practice of paying close attention non-judgmentally, to paraphrase Jon Kabat-Zinn. Therefore mindful eating involves a tricky process. How do we observe carefully the way, the times, the amounts, the foods we eat without judging?

Mindfulness meditation or Vipassana involves noting and following the breath. In meditation we follow the in and out of air through the nostrils or the rise and fall of our chest as the air naturally enters and leaves our body. We also become acutely aware of how much our mind interferes with this simple focusing process. We think and plan and recall and worry and have all sorts of mental activity as we sit with the intention to focus on our breath. The non-judgment comes in here. We do not waste time or energy berating ourselves for “doing it wrong” when we note we have lost connection with our breath. We simply return to focus on the breath. And if we find ourselves judging, we just note, “judging” and return to our breath. If you have practice mindfulness meditation, you know how amazingly simple and yet so challenging this process is.

So, when it comes to mindful eating, it is important to note which aspects of awareness of your eating bring about the most judgment. Do you have a list of shoulds in regard to eating that bring major self-judgment when you do not perfectly attain them? If you remember that you have chosen to eat mindfully after you’ve eaten 3/4ths of the giant bag of potato chips, can you gently, kindly, remind yourself of your intent? And notice how it feels in your body, your spirit and your mind in the present moment? Just notice and learn. This would be the way of non-judgmental acceptance on the journey toward more mindful eating.

Mindful eating in a non-judgmental fashion does not mean that we have no guidelines for eating or that we throw out the reasonable food plans which help us heal and strengthen our bodies. Being non-judgmental means that we accept that we are human, we will falter, and when we become aware of eating non-mindfully, we simply return to an awareness of what is currently happening.

You can see how tricky this is – if I don’t judge, how will I know if I’ve arrived at my goal? If I don’t judge, how will I stop myself from over-eating  or mindless eating? The answer lies in viewing eating mindfully as an ongoing journey. This is not a diet that we graduate from. Learning to and committing to mindful eating calls on us to remain present in all of our eating – the times we feel proud that we are following our eating plan, and the other times when we forgot we ever had a plan and dive head long into a jelly donut. Mindful eating is the process of accepting that we do not always do it right and learning from every mindful moment.

When we pay attention non-judgmentally to our relationship to food, we will grow in understanding of our patterns and in the grace of non-judgment gain self-acceptance.

JME Affirmation for the Day:

Every day, every moment, I grow in awareness and acceptance. I treat myself lovingly today.

Mindfulness, Feelings and Food

Mindfulness, Feelings and Food

We eat to celebrate, we eat to soothe hurts, we eat to deal with boredom, and we eat to distract ourselves. We eat when lonely or depressed to numb the pain, and we eat when stressed. We even sometimes eat “at someone” in anger or frustration. In our culture we have bestowed food with powers it was not designed for in humans. Food, in case you’ve forgotten, is for sustenance, to provide energy and strength to our bodies. Food is not designed to resolve emotional stress.

Since childhood we have linked food with celebration (Happy Birthday!), with helping us heal (Skinned knee? Oh, have a Twinkie. You’ll feel better.), and with numbing ourselves from emotional pain. I mean, come on, the research shows chocolate is good for depression!

Don’t get me wrong! I am not trying to say I am above using food to heal these affairs of the heart, but to say – it does not work! In the long run, after a time of eating to deal with feelings, we are fat, sick and unhappy, and we still have the unresolved emotions. Nor have we learned coping skills to deal with them as they arise again. And they will!

Becoming more mindful of our feeling state can help free us from this pattern. Here are a couple methods to experiment with:

For one day, log your food and feelings when eating. At the end of the day note the links between eating and feelings. Consider if the amount or pace of eating was influenced by your feelings at the time. Note the times you chose wisely despite your feelings. Explore whether just the act of logging your food and feelings increases your awareness and thus helps you make more mindful choices.

Experiment Two: This week as you find yourself being called to the bag of chips or cookies or ice cream, pause and ask yourself “What am I feeling?” Once identified, you can then choose to address the feeling more directly. You may choose to call the person you are upset with, finish a task you’ve been putting off, or allow yourself to feel the sadness - to cry. Or you can choose to go ahead and eat the food you are craving. Either way you have increased your mindful awareness of the role of feelings in your relationship with food.

JME Affirmation for the Day:

Today, I recognize and honor my feelings. As I become more and more conscious of feelings guiding my choices, I use my thinking mind to guide me to healthy food.  

Welcome to Journeys in Mindful Eating!

Welcome to Journeys in Mindful Eating!
This is my first entry. Important! Must be significant and powerful! Must really measure up to the vision of this blog! Oh, not that!..... Yes - those are the thoughts running through my head as I NON-mindfully prepare to start this blog. Full of fear laden, procrastination-building judgment! Mindful eating for me is a process that requires getting out of the judgment and perfection expectation mode. It is an act, a simple act of eating with awareness. Eating with awareness! No easy task for most of us as we eat in front of the TV, we eat in the car while driving, talking to the kids and answering the cell phone, and we eat urgently (OK, compulsively at times) to deal with feelings - anxiety, sadness, depression. These patterns of eating are anything but mindful!

As a society, we are becoming more aware or mindful of the food we select: commercial, organic, free-range, local, fresh or frozen??. These choices can make a difference in our health in the long run research suggests. One simple, but not easy, act of mindfulness WHILE eating can make the difference between over-eating and feeding your body what it needs.

I know this personally, as my body size has gone up and down and up, up for the last several decades as I tried to use food to soothe, solve, and survive. But no more - being mindful about what and why I put things in my mouth is a new way of life.

Mindful eating for me requires staying conscious through all the stages: planning, shopping, fixing, dreaming about Garlic and artichoke pizza, as well as setting the table and sitting down to eat in a calm focused manner. Full-time Focus!

So, welcome to my blog! Let's do this together, you and I and all of us! Let's learn day by day how to be more mindful eaters!

JME Affirmation for the Day:
Today, I enjoy food by paying close attention to smells, tastes and textures of my meals. I savor my food today.